She’s Saving Herself For Luke Perry

I’ve been dating two different guys for the past month. That’s not actually interesting in itself, but what is interesting is that the other night I got to tell one of them “I think you’re too involved in your own life to be involved in mine,” which makes me feel oh-so grown up, like in an I’m-still-five-years-old-feeling-like-how-I-thought-I’d-be-when-I-was-twenty sort of way. Like when I was seven years old and had a literal dream about being ten because the idea of being in the double digits was so incredible.

Like woah dude, so grown up.

And then the very next day I got to tell the other one, the one who I’ve only gone out on TWO dates with because even though we seem to genuinely like each other, we are also actually busy doing other stuff like having a life in general, you know, so it’s not even at all serious. Except we do make a point to keep in touch, so.

you could say napoleon dynamite

What was I saying? Yeah, I got to tell this guy that I didn’t like making plans spur of the moment like he does. I am busy and have other people to hang out with, buddy. Oh, this was on the phone, by the way. Not texting. Actual voice to voice contact. Because he’s a rad dude, that’s why. After I told him that, you know what he said to me? “You’re gonna have to get used to it if you hang out with me,” or something to that effect. I was just like

dianna agron eyebrow raise

“OH DO I NOW?”

Those are the words that I said to him. And then I was like haha no. Because seriously, no.*

Don’t get me wrong, sometimes I’m up for last minute business, if I’ve spent the day unemployed, on my couch, re-watching Orphan Black in order to prepare for the season premiere next month. Just don’t tell him that. I’d like to set some sort of precedent, thanks, that specifies I don’t work around this kid’s schedule, this fuckin west side rich kid who didn’t even kiss me on the first date.

My mother would approve.

*We’re going out again later this week.

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