Let’s Not and Say We Did

Whom do I speak to about getting my grown up license revoked?  It’s urgent.  I don’t mind changing the name of this blog to something more fitting if that’s what it takes.

Maybe “I tried being a grown up but it wasn’t really fun so I stopped and I think that’s ok.”

I decided to go to grad school, which is really exciting, assuming any place will have me, and I’ve been working on that application for the past couple of weeks.  The slow turtle wins the long race, Chinese proverbs and all that.

Ok but I’m also trying to deal with registering my car in California and the estimated cost alone makes me want to cry an entire ocean.

dawson crying gif

Shut up Dawson, you don’t know real pain.

That’s really the least of it though.  Do you know how much goes into registering a non-resident vehicle?  One that isn’t actually even in your name?  DO YOU?  I don’t know how to do this shit!  Who do they think I am?  I’ve already ascertained that I am NOT Oprah and I do NOT have magic powers.

I don’t want to be independent.  I don’t want to be self-sufficient.  I want to be rich and pay people to do things for me.

Do you know what a lien satisfied form is?  Of course you don’t, because WHY WOULD YOU?  You’re probably also happy and sitting on your couch eating potato chips and laughing.  I know what it is though, because everything is awful.

Ok but even scarier, like way, way scarier, is this Vehicle Transfer and Reassignment form.  The words “power of attorney” are involved and just so happen to be words that until just now I didn’t know I never wanted to be relevant to my life.  Ever.

Apparently I may not need to disclose my odometer rating.  I’m sorry, what?  No actually, I’m not sorry, because seriously, what the fuck does that even mean?  I’m sure I could look it up and it would be easy to figure out, but I’m also supposed to know if I need to disclose it?  Why can’t they just TELL ME.

And I literally need to DECLARE how much my car weighs.  It’s called “Declaration of Gross Vehicle Weight.”  Gross?  You’re telling me.  More like hideously disgusting.

michael scott the office i declare bankruptcy gif

That’s how it works, right?  I just yell it and it’s done?  

I’m going to go live in the Russian wilderness now.  I think that’s the most logical response to this situation.  It honestly sounds far easier and way more fun.

I’ll try to keep up this blog while I’m gone.  If I don’t, well, then I’m probably dead.  Or maybe have joined a Russian gang.  

Ygritte jon snow gif
^^^ Future me, post Russian gang initiation

Both of which are more appealing than this nonsense.


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